Imagine

“imagine falling in love with somebody only to find out that your capacity to love grows with every new thing you notice about them”

I read this on twitter this week and it has stayed with me ever since, it’s popped into my head as I’ve fallen asleep, occurred to me again as I’ve walked to nursery or been by myself for whatever reason and I wanted to share really.

Jody and I had an up and down first six months, we probably met three months too early really, both of emerging out of things that had left us emotionally scarred. But I loved him so early and we exchanged ‘I love you’s’ within a couple of weeks. There were dark moments, he would quite openly say that he wasn’t sure if he could stay in the country (he’d previously lived all over the world), he would be brutally honest about his feelings and there was a brief break-up that was something and nothing and which I dealt with surprisingly calmly for me, even now I think back on it and wonder where that strength came from. There is a part of me that thinks that it was because I must have known that we were meant to be together but it wasn’t that at the time, I don’t know what it was really.

We got over all of that and we moved in together seven months after getting together and it’s been largely plain sailing since then. There have been some moments where he has said things that have made me doubt him and his love for me, moments that have induced real panic but mostly, we are good. And the above quote is absolutely true. We had been together just over two years when we had twins. TWINS. Most people are still on the holidays and ikea trips by that point and we were doubling our family. Crazy but we did it. Next month, we will have been together for six years and that is amazing to me.

I love him more than I did then because he is my girls dad. And he is wonderful. Yes, he is impatient sometimes and he likes to ‘listen to the radio’ on a Sunday. AKA have a little nap. But he adores them and they him. I cannot wait to see him with our new little girl in April. Truly cannot wait.

Love is really hard. Relationships are really hard. But whatever happens, this relationship will be one that I will never, ever regret.