The Writing Process

My first book was written quite quickly in the end. As always with me, there were several first draft chapters sitting in my computer, all different ideas, some too personal, almost autobiographical, some half hearted, some a lot better than others. But none really ever got past that, there wasn’t time, it wasn’t good enough and some I had made the mistake of trying to edit as I went so they were then deemed too awful to ever see the light of day.

Then I was in Starbucks and there was a barista there at the time who was a little bit flirty. With everyone, certainly not just with a tired looking mum who always had her little ones with her, but it occurred to me that there was a story in it. What if a barista DID fancy the tired looking mum and something did actually happen?

So I wrote it down. And it was slow at first, the self doubt crept in and I was tempted to stop but this was the first genuine story idea, one that might be good, that I’d had in forever so I ploughed on. No idea what I was doing, just sitting and writing and the words added up. 115,000 of them in the end.

J sent them off, the first three chapters, and the rejections rolled in, very nice rejections, you definitely do not just get a no these days, there was loads of constructive criticism and one not quite a no, one email that requested some more of it. I sent it off, the optimism bubbling just a little then nothing, no follow up email.

I self published in the end. A laborious, ultimately anti-climactic experience. But it’s out there in the world. A book written by me with my name on it. Book Two is in the works, curtailed by early pregnancy and having no energy to speak of, but I’ll write that too and it’ll sit along side the first one. I’m immensely proud of that book, I re-read it recently, having not since I edited it and I forgot that I’d written it to be honest, I just read and enjoyed it. I adore the main character, she is bold and emotional and she makes good and bad choices and I just love her. I wish that I could shoehorn Emily into the new baby’s name somewhere in homage to her but I don’t think that J would go for it. Maybe I’ll get a strange Emily tattoo somewhere….

The writing process is unique, of that I am sure. Absolutely different for everyone, laborious and long and difficult but the only work that you ever want to do. I am a better person when I’m writing, less bogged down, happier, clearer. It is no coincidence that this blog has sprung up in January, in an effort to write more, write anything, write what means something to me without the pressure of 1000 words, of finishing this chapter or editing this scene.

There was a meme doing the rounds after Christmas, in the rounds of resolutions and anti-resolutions that take over social media at that time, and it said that if you had written a book, you were an author. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t sold in Waterstones, or hadn’t been read by a hundred thousand people, you were an author.

I am an author.